Friday, 8 November 2013

New Challenge- My 12 steps.

On the website, she had posted a 12 step to stop yelling at your kids. Resource is from this website:

Step 1- Acknowledge that you need to change.
  • I know that I need to change. When I see my daughters yelling at each other, the same way I yell at them, it's not a good feeling. Seeing all my kids loosing their patience, and doing the same things as me, it's scary looking into the mini mirror. I need to change. I need to make sure that I set a better example for my children.
Step 2- Set a goal
  • My first goal is going to be a day without yelling or "freaking out" at them. I think it is a big challenge to take the first step.
  • My second goal will be to go a week.
  • My third goal- a month.
  • My fourth goal- 3 months
  • My fifth goal- 6 months
  • My final goal- a year.
Step 3- Share your goals to create accountability
  • Posting them on here, and sharing my blog with others, like my family and friends.
Step 4- Create a support network
  • I have joined the Orange Rhino group on Facebook.
  • I know that my husband, my mother, my family and my friends will support me 100%.
  • I will find a friend, who wants to change too, and will find support in together.
Step 5- Track your triggers
  • I am going to do this all weekend. I am going to write down every time I raise my voice to my children.
  • From my own knowledge, I know that my patience is the thinnest the days that I am tired. Those are the days when "I just want to sit here on the couch, and no doing anything".
  • My other time of patience is the thinnest- the days that I need to get things done. It seems to be the children knows that you have stuff you need to get done that day. And they chose for that day to want your attention the most.
  • Other moments are: when you have asked them to put that toy away 20 times, and it is still sitting out. Not only the toys, but when I say no to the cookie already, and they still persist on asking for it, again and again.
  • I will probably find some more things that triggers me. I will post my findings next week.
Step 6 Start practicing slowly.
  • I am going to be creative on this. The one thing that I have been doing, is shut my mouth, put my hand together, and yell in my head. I will continue this one for now.
  • On the website, I saw that she had said that she started by not yelling at the children, but yell away from the children. I think that might be a good thing to start doing too.
Step 7- Keep practicing
  • This is going to be an on going thing. I will need to find a way to remind myself to keep on track.
Step 8- Keep Goal top of mind
  • Yet again, this is where my support team will come in. I am going to post my goal around the house, to remind myself of it.
Step 9- Preserve when you yell
  • I am going to remind myself on the reason why I am doing this. For my Children!
  • I am going to apologize when I do yell, after I cool down!
Step 10- Celebrate when you succeed
  • I think this is going to be a in the moment reward. My first goal will be something small though. Once I hit my final goal, I think I am going to need a big reward, other then having a better relationship with my children.
Step 11- Stop Yelling, Start Thinking, Continue calmly!!!
  • It says it all. A new motto to go by. I will have to write that down too, and post it around the house.
Step 12- Remember that know that you are not alone.
  • After seeing the Facebook page, reading some of the people's blogs, and having that conversation with other mothers last night, I know that I am not alone. We are all not perfect, but we are sure trying our hardest to being.

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